Reflections

Been a busy week, and it’s only Tuesday!

Yesterday and today I had job interviews; one was for a production assistant position at a community TV station, and the other was for a medical secretary. I really want the production assistant job since it’s more creative, but the bad news is it’s only part time…for now. I mentioned I would like full time in the future, and they said that it was a strong possibility- IF I get the job that is. The medical secretary is full time, and has benefits (not the greatest from what HR said)- but it’ll be boring as shit.

So for these interviews, I had to break out the “I swear I’m a professional” clothes. I had to buy a bunch of new stuff a few months ago since a lot of my previous professional clothes no longer fit. And the new clothes?

Fucking hideous in my opinion.

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Why did I buy them then? Because sadly, I don’t really know how to dress professionally for my size. My last job was low key and I could wear my normal everyday clothes. However, after I lost that job, and started looking for new jobs, I was told by my family that I needed to wear stuff that fit me better so I could look more professional. It stung to hear that, but it was also sadly true. So I picked out clothes that would essentially hide my body. Long, loose blouses, slacks with plenty of room in the tummy section…I feel like I’m wearing curtains. However, according to the people around me, I look great in them.

I remember seeing a Dove commercial not too long ago that was all about women empowerment, and they had different kinds of atypical women that owned their style. One of them was a plus-sized fashonista who had her own fashion blog…and she was fucking fabulous. She wasn’t afraid to wear form-fitting clothes; she got tired of being told “Oh you’re fat, you need to wear clothes that hide your body,” and wore fashionable styles typically reserved for airbrushed models in magazines. Just did a little digging and found her! Jessica Torres, check out her site for awesomeness itsjessicatorres.com.

Also, since I’ve lost a little bit of weight, these baggy clothes are getting even baggier looking. With any luck, if I get the production assistant job, it’s a more casual environment, and I’ll be able to wear my everyday day clothes. If I get the medical secretary job, that’s more formal unfortunately which calls for ugly professional clothes. Maybe I can try to turn those curtains into more of my style with accessories and stuff? Because those clothes as they are now aren’t me, and wearing them made me feel out of sorts.

Just because I’m not thin right now, doesn’t mean I should have to sacrifice my style. I deserve to feel confident no matter what my weight is.

Moving onto the next topic… today started VOLCANO WEEK! And let me tell you, I was PMS-ing so bad the past week. I was feeling pretty pissed that the scale wasn’t moving, even though I was trying to rationalize that it was because of my damn period, but then I realized something important- which I’ll get to in a second. I have a digital scale that measures ALL the things: weight, BMI, Body fat, fat-free body weight, body water, skeletal muscle, muscle mass, bone mass, protein, BMR, and metabloic age. All this info links to an app on your phone in a very well designed, informative format. Over the past month (because I only started getting serious about weight loss again back in mid March) I’ve only lost like, 6 pounds (7 pounds if I count from my highest weight early March). However, after playing around with the app, two things made me feel better…

Screenshot_20180424-215135_RENPHO

Screenshot_20180424-215138_RENPHO

As you can see in the first picture, that is a nice downward slope for weight loss. The second picture shows an increase in skeletal muscle. What is skeletal muscle? Have a quote from the dummies.com website (it sure helped me!) “Skeletal muscle is probably what you think of when you picture a muscle. The cylindrical fibers (cells) of skeletal muscle have many nuclei and striations. Skeletal muscle is the only type of muscle under voluntary control through the nervous system, which means you can decide when you want to contract a skeletal muscle.”

So in a nutshell- I be gaining muscle woot woot!

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So what we learn? MAKE SURE YOU HAVE MULTIPLE WAYS TO TRACK YOUR PROGRESS. If you only go by total pounds lost…you’re gonna have a bad time. I have my super scale that shows me ALL the information ( here’s a link if you’d like to check it out- currently it’s $32.99- very affordable for all that it does! Renpho scale), I also mentioned how I noticed my clothes felt looser, and at the end of the month I do body measurements (chest, arms, waist, hips, and thighs).

All in all, I’m on the right track. I just need to keep on keepin’, and try to keep true to myself along the way too.

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