Ok, so it’s been a while.
TL;DR (too long didn’t read)- life has sucked due to numerous reasons and I stopped caring about losing weight. Now I care again and am getting back on track.
Continue on for long rant.
For me, it’s never just one thing that goes wrong, it’s always a handful of shit- like the saying goes, when it rains, it pours.
And believe me, I got soaked.
The previous place I worked at closed down and I lost my job, I was hired and immediately fired, I caught the flu and was sick for nearly a month, and my cat was diagnosed with cancer.
Well, I’m managing my cat’s cancer with chemo (turns out there’s a 50% success rate that cats can live six months or longer with good quality of life) and he’s doing pretty well so far. I sold some stuff for some extra cash (I have credit cards, but one has a high balance as it is, and I’m trying to pay it off since the monthly payments are getting expensive) so the next month is covered at least…hoping he makes it that long.
I had been job hunting like crazy, and although I got a couple of interviews, nothing became of them sadly. Then I got hired out of the blue at a job that was going to pay an almost decent salary (I was actually severely underpaid for the position, but I was willing to take it to get my foot in the door at that company). I arrived at the job bright and early…and everyone else at the office was really late! Then they just sorta told me to have at it and left me to my own devices right off the bat. One person from another department showed me a few things which I was grateful for, but she didn’t know all the details of my job. I like to think I’m a quick learner, but I mean, you gotta show me the ropes before I can get into the swing of things! All things considered I think I did pretty well, still, I left that first day not feeling too happy about my job, but there was no was I could just quit…
Well, that night I started feeling wicked sick, and didn’t get any sleep at all. Guess who got the flu!? So I called in sick on my second day of work, and my boss said don’t worry about it. I couldn’t believe how nice and understanding he was! Hell I was afraid he might have even fired me and then…
He called back and fired me. I tried apologizing for getting sick and he said that firing me had nothing to do with that- it was because it seemed like I needed too much training.
Anyways, fast forward two weeks later. My ex-boss calls back. Wants to give me another shot basically. He says that they’ve gone through a bunch of people already in regards to my previous position, and that maybe he was hasty in firing me, but he just couldn’t believe that I called in sick on my second day because, and I quote, “-seriously, who does that?”
People who get sick? Coulda brought him in a doctor’s note and everything. Also I thought the reason he fired me was because I needed too much training?
I wanted to throw the phone across the room. Instead, I told him I was waiting to hear on another job (which wasn’t a total lie) and asked if I could get back to him at the end of the week with my decision. He seemed insulted that I didn’t jump at his offer, but agreed to let me think about it.
Well I thought about it. He mentioned that in the past few weeks he went through a bunch of people already…huge red flag. Secondly, the tone in his voice as he scolded me for calling in sick was the sound of someone I didn’t want to work for.
So I told him I got the other job. He wished me all the best. The end.
I haven’t heard back from that other job, and since it’s been over two weeks, I’m pretty sure that means I ain’t gonna hear back. However, I did just land a job interview for this Wednesday, so wish me luck!
Now for actual diet stuff!
So yeah, regained all my weight…again…
Back on the every other day diet since Sunday, and I’m already down three pounds. I wish I could say I’m excited, but I know how this works. The first two weeks or so I’ll see really good weightloss, and then after that it’ll go down to one to two pounds a week.
Although, the more that I think about it, the fact that I had instant results again I think stands as a testament to just how great this diet is. What was surprising though was how easy it was to start again- I didn’t have the same kind of hunger pangs on my diet days as I did in the past.
I was thinking of starting this diet again once everything settled down and I had a job again- figured I’d be motivated again to get healthy.
Then I thought fuck it.
Motivation is like a really fun friend that’s unfortunately super flaky and constantly blows you off. Sure when they’re around it’s great, but you can’t count on them to be there when you need them.
What you need is discipline. Or at least that’s sure as hell what I need. Doing what’s good for me even if I’m not in the mood. With enough discipline, then with any luck healthy behaviors (like choosing to eat more vegetables and working out) will become habits.
For now though, I need to force myself to do the healthy thing…even when the world around me is less than motivating. Disappointment and bad news seem to be common themes lately in my life, and I think I’m finally learning how to roll with them rather then let them run me over.
I still have a long road ahead of me though…
(Ok is it just me or is the above gif super trippy?)