Under pressure

Have you ever been so excited for something that it actually made you physically anxious? Ever since yesterday when I heard back from my dream job about the possibility of working for them, my body has been in a constant state of fight or flight…but there is nothing to fight and nowhere to flee. So instead my body is taking its frustrations out on my bowels.

I’ll leave it at that.

At this point in the game the every day diet has pretty much become a habit. On diet days like today, I don’t physically feel hungry after my 400 calories. However, sometimes I still mentally want to eat, especially when I’m stressing like this. I was thinking about going out to eat tonight, but then I just immediately told myself that I just had to wait until tomorrow.

And it worked.

So far I’ve been really committed to my diet days. I just need to get in more exercise, and get back into a low carb lifestyle if I want to see some serious changes. Not that I’m complaining about my guaranteed pound a week…

However, during high stress times like these, I think I’m going to go easy on myself and enjoy my free days however I like.

The next week is going to feel like a damned if I do, damned if I don’t situation. Chances are I’ll find out if I’ll actually get an in-person interview, or if I’ll possibly get rejected. If I get rejected, I’m going to be wicked bummed-out, and I’ll want to indulge on my free days to feel better. If I make the interview, I’m going to continue being anxiety personified and justify indulging on my free days because of that.

Unless I’m too anxious to enjoy eating. Then hell, might as well eat healthy then.

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