So today was my free day that I was totally looking forward to yesterday. I wasn’t sure what I was going to do for lunch (I just about always skip breakfast- not just for this diet, it’s just the way I’ve always been), but I was looking forward to grabbing some sushi after work. However, it didn’t really go the way I thought it would.

This morning when I first woke up… well, let me show you the conversation my brain basically had with my stomach.

Brain: Alright! Free day! Can’t wait to get some grub! Where should we eat out before work?

Stomach: Um…not all that hungry here boss.

Brain: lol wut?

Stomach: I’m serious. Not really in the mood for anything right now.

Brain: We had 400 flipping calories yesterday, and you’re telling me you don’t feel like getting some food in you, like, ASAP?

Stomach: Yep.

Brain: Well too goddamn bad!

I left the house about an hour early to give myself time to hit a restaurant, but I really wasn’t in the mood for anything! I ended up settling on Burger King since it was on the way. I got my usual meal of one hamburger, a medium fry, small (not small at all) coke (I usually get diet, but I let myself enjoy regular), and I also decided to try a new menu item- mozzarella sticks.

Well, I finished the hamburger, but that was it. I don’t think I finished even half the fries, and the mozzarella sticks were just not that good- out of four I ate one and a half, and they were pretty small too. Weird. In the past I would devour the burger and fries with room to spare. Now I felt completely full!

After I left I wondered if I would get hungry later at work, but that wasn’t an issue. At all. I felt kind of gross most of the day and when I did start feeling a little hungry later that evening I suddenly realized something…I was craving vegetables. 

I work near a supermarket, so I ran in, went to the salad bar, and made myself a nice salad with bell peppers, lite Italian dressing (I actually prefer lite to regular- I think it’s more flavorful for some reason) and croutons. However, I also got myself an individual sized ice cream cup…it’s ice cream cake flavored. Top is vanilla and bottom is chocolate and in the middle are those chocolate crunchies- you know what I’m talking about, right? The stuff of dreams and happiness?  I was determined to treat myself today.

So! I had a small salad and a small ice cream cup early that evening. Figured by the time I got out of work (I leave at 9pm) I would be good and hungry for sushi!

Well I wasn’t…

(Leaving work)

Brain:Woo! Time for sushi! Been looking forward to this!

Stomach: Uh, boss?

Brain: Don’t even.

Stomach: I’m sorry, but, I-I can’t.

Brain: You son of a bitch.

So I just went home. For a while I wasn’t hungry at all, but then a little while ago I figured I’d have a small snack before bed. I bought little 100 calorie packs of Smartfood cheddar popcorn for my diet days, and figured I’d have one.

Well one turned into three.

I’m feeling kind of guilty even though I know I shouldn’t be. Also feeling a little gross. I’m thinking that maybe I’ll tone down the indulgences on my free days from here on in.

As of right now, I’m actually not dreading diet day tomorrow. In fact, I’m already planning on packing some healthy stuff and, I think I’m actually looking forward to it.

Holy crap.


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